Before you visit a funeral director you should check if the deceased had a pre-paid funeral plan. If they did, it is important to find the paperwork as soon as possible and follow the instructions on it. Similarly if they had reserved or arranged payment for a plot in a cemetery, it is important to give this information to the funeral director as quickly as possible.
When you see the funeral director or arranger they will guide you through a number of other decisions. These are important issues so it is essential that you take the time you need to reach a decision.
Practical things to consider for the funeral
What sort of ceremony would you like arranged? Was the person religious or not? Funeral directors work with the local clergy of all faiths and other celebrants who can arrange secular ceremonies or one designed with the family. Discuss these options with the funeral director and if you do not already know who you would like to conduct the funeral, they will recommend the person who they think will be most appropriate. The funeral director will both make the practical arrangements with them directly and ask them to contact you and arrange to meet with you.
Think about the best time to hold the funeral. If family and friends are travelling a long way, then later in the day may be preferable.
Do you want a newspaper announcement? If so, the funeral director can arrange this for you.
Do you want to ask for flowers or for donations to a special charity? Again, the funeral director will advise you on how this works and will collect and pass on the money for you.
Discuss how you will be paying for the funeral. If there was a pre-paid funeral plan then try to find the details before you talk to the funeral director.
Please see the separate section for further information on this subject.
Who will need to travel in the funeral director's limousines? This is usually immediate family but your funeral director will be able to advise you on all these procedures.
Will the cars leaving from the house follow the coffin or will the mourners assemble at the place of the ceremony and the hearse bring the coffin straight there?
People travelling by public transport will appreciate being given a lift to the venue where refreshments are served afterwards. Family and friends using their own vehicles with empty seats will be pleased to be able to help out with this if they are aware of the need.
Will the cars leaving from the house follow the coffin or will the mourners assemble at the place of the ceremony and the hearse bring the coffin straight there?
People travelling by public transport will appreciate being given a lift to the venue where refreshments are served afterwards. Family and friends using their own vehicles with empty seats will be pleased to be able to help out with this if they are aware of the need.
Usually items of jewellery are removed and given back to you before the funeral. The funeral director will ask you if this is what you would like to happen. It is not possible to recover any items of jewellery after the coffin has been received at a crematorium.
Let people know when and where the funeral is to be held. Usually family and friends help with this task, so let them help and only make the calls you feel like making.
If the coroner is involved then you need to inform the funeral director of this. The funeral director will liaise with the coroner's officer as to when the body will be released for the funeral.
The first question to consider is whether the funeral will be a cremation or a burial.
If you are not sure what the deceased would have wanted, then ask other relatives if they knew and make a decision so you can advise the funeral director. It may also be helpful to find out what other family members have chosen or you may be able to ask for guidance from a faith leader.
Sometimes there are practical issues to be taken into consideration, such as whether there is space in a cemetery or cost. Do not be embarrassed to discuss these matters with the funeral director.
If you are not sure what the deceased would have wanted, then ask other relatives if they knew and make a decision so you can advise the funeral director. It may also be helpful to find out what other family members have chosen or you may be able to ask for guidance from a faith leader.
Sometimes there are practical issues to be taken into consideration, such as whether there is space in a cemetery or cost. Do not be embarrassed to discuss these matters with the funeral director.
Where would you like the funeral to be held? You will probably know the choices you have locally but ask the funeral director for the full range of locations available.
There are many types of coffin to choose from: traditional wooden, wicker, bamboo, cardboard and many others. Some can be decorated in a way which personalises them to the person who has died. The funeral director will show examples of some and pictures of other options.
Is the person to be dressed in their clothes or something provided by the funeral director. Please talk to the funeral director about this as some types of clothing may not be permitted.
Please also ask the funeral director about personal items you may wish to place in the coffin as there may be restrictions stated by the cemetery or crematorium. The funeral director will be able to explain the reasons for these.
Do you want to see the deceased at the funeral home? Do think about this and ask the funeral director to arrange this for you if it is something you would like to do.
Is there anyone who would like to assist in carrying the coffin? If so, discuss this with the funeral director.
Do you want a printed order of service? Many funeral directors can now provide this including a photograph of the person who has died.
Decide what you are going to wear so that you are comfortable and feel appropriately dressed.
Think about whether you want people to dress in a particular way for the funeral. Most people will wear fairly formal clothing in sombre colours unless they have been asked to specifically wear a certain colour or casual style.
Think about whether you want people to dress in a particular way for the funeral. Most people will wear fairly formal clothing in sombre colours unless they have been asked to specifically wear a certain colour or casual style.
Will you need to provide refreshments afterwards? If so, where, what sort and for how many? Often mourners are invited back to the family home or to a hall or hotel for something to eat and drink and to remember the deceased. Decide what you think is right for you and ask family and friends to help arrange it. People are only too pleased to have something practical to do in the days leading up to the funeral, so accept all offers of help.
The funeral director can make these arrangements for you if you would prefer.
Accommodation for those who have travelled. This can be with other family and friends, local hotels or guesthouses. Do not worry about this as people will sort out arrangements for themselves.
THE DOCUMENTS NEEDED FOR THE FUNERAL
Most of the paperwork required for a funeral to take place will be dealt with by the funeral director. There are some forms that the family or executor has to sign but with the exception of the 'green form' issued by the registrar of deaths to the person who registered, the funeral director will assist with all of the forms.
The forms are listed below (those for a funeral overseas are listed in that section of the site):
Most of the paperwork required for a funeral to take place will be dealt with by the funeral director. There are some forms that the family or executor has to sign but with the exception of the 'green form' issued by the registrar of deaths to the person who registered, the funeral director will assist with all of the forms.
The forms are listed below (those for a funeral overseas are listed in that section of the site):
a) An application form to purchase a new grave or to re-open an existing plot if the funeral is to be a burial. The existing Deeds will be normally be required.
OR An application form to have the deceased cremated otherwise called an 'A' form. This has to be accompanied by a form stating how the Ashes/Cremated Remains are to be dealt with. It is possible for these to be stored by the crematorium or the funeral director if you have not yet decided what to do with the Ashes.
For a cremation only:
b) The cremation certificates (forms B and C and F) The first part of this document (B) is usually completed by the same doctor who issued the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. The second part (C) by a doctor who was independent of the care of the deceased and the third part (F) by the Medical Referee who is on the staff of the crematorium. These forms are normally dealt with by the funeral director.
There is normally a charge for this form which will appear as one of the disbursements on the invoice from the funeral director.
OR If the coroner has been involved s/he he will issue a Form E to the funeral director to forward to the crematorium permitting a cremation to take place. There is no charge for this.
c) The ‘green certificate' (certificate for disposal) issued by the register office.
This is not issued by the registrar if the coroner has ordered a post-mortem examination or if there is to be an inquest and is replaced by documentation from the coroner.
Should children attend the funeral? Please see the separate section on this.
Page Last Updated : 26/02/08