The funeral director will ask you for instructions about what you want to happen to the ashes after a cremation (you may hear funeral directors refer to ashes as 'cremated remains'). You have a number of choices:
- They can be scattered in the garden of remembrance at the crematorium either by the staff or by the family. Staff will do this without you being there if you would prefer. Many crematoria offer a very brief ceremony by a member of staff or you can bring a minister with you. Scattering is sometimes called strewing by funeral directors and crematoria staff. Many crematoria offer other choices such as niches in a columbarium or the purchase of a rose or another plant in the gardens. Most crematoria produce a booklet explaining all of the choices available.
- It is often possible to inter the ashes in an existing grave or family plot in a cemetery or churchyard although scattering is often not possible. This may be a way of bringing together family remains when there is no space remaining in an old cemetery or a churchyard that is closed for new burials. Many cemeteries and churchyards also have space set aside for interment of ashes and small headstones may be permitted.
- You could bury or scatter them in your garden.
- Keep them in the urn or the container you receive them in or purchase an alternative container. People often choose this when you want to keep the ashes and have them scattered or buried with your own at a later stage. It is essential you keep a written record of where the ashes are and what you want to happen to them so whoever will be responsible for organising your own funeral can carry out your wishes.
- Scatter them at sea or in a river. Please discuss this with the funeral director and also get permission from the landowner through which a river runs. There are concerns about the possible environmental impact of cremated remains in waterways.
- Scatter them privately in a special place such as a hilltop or woodland. Please seek permission from the landowner - some places now have a problem with altered ecology because of the effect of scattered ashes. Other venues such as football and cricket grounds are popular choices - each venue will have its own policy as to whether or not this is permitted. Your funeral director can find this out for you.
- They can be divided amongst family members to deal with separately, which is often a good choice when family live all over the world or they can be placed at several different much loved locations.
- They can be placed in a piece of jewellery, for example, in a specially designed locket.
There are companies who will scatter ashes over land or sea by plane, insert them into fireworks, make them into a diamond or a glass memorial. There are also areas of the country where you can plant a tree in memory of the person. We can give you details about any of these options as well as other ideas.